This paper explores the introduction, original mission of, and corruption of State CPAs. It proceeds in three additional parts. Part II outlines a brief history of American consumer protection laws, beginning with the accompanying immodest expansions of State CPAs. Part III reviews and discusses the predictable litigation consequences of these expansions, including harm to consumers themselves, litigants, and the judicial system, and briefly surveys elementary economic theory as well as salient empirical data confirming that these unjustified CPA expansions harm consumers. Part IV concludes, recommending several salutary policy prescriptions for lawmakers considering amending a State CPA.